Moving Past Resentment in 5 Easy Steps

Taken from a group text just minutes ago…

J: Whoever created the open plan kitchen where the kitchen is open to the family room wasn’t a woman.

H: Tell us more…

J: When we had a totally closed off kitchen, I could put my earbuds in and cook, clean, etc and still feel like I’m getting me time. Now that I’m home in my open plan, there is no point of putting ear buds in because I’m interrupted every few mins and not of family members asking how they could help me. Also, when the kitchen is in a different room you don’t see anyone else relaxing while you are doing work. Which for me leads to resentment.

A: This is hilarious! I had the same experience this am. “You guys enjoy yourself, I’ll hull your strawberries.”

J: And then remind them to bring their bowls up to the sink and put them in the dishwasher.

A: You’d think the sink being THAT close they would remember to rinse, and load. No. Never. Not today. Maybe tomorrow? Probably not.

I love this group of friends. We’re honest with each other about our struggles –in business or relationships or parenting. But I know this struggle isn’t unique to this group.

Why do we as women stand at the sink doing it all while we watch our family relax? Because we feel called to service? Maybe. But if that’s the case, then the resentment has no place and serves no purpose. And yet it’s almost always there.

But it doesn’t have to be!

Here’s how to get out of the resentment cyclone in 5 easy steps:

Identify: Resentment feels like anger, annoyance, shame or indignation.

I’m so freaking annoyed right now.  

Acknowledge: Be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling and to whom.

          I’m not annoyed with the whole world, just those little monsters on the couch.

Act: Reclaim power where you feel you’ve lost it.

I’m not hulling strawberries because someone told me to work for my supper. I’m doing it because the strawberries are fresh and I’m actually excited to eat some of them too.

Claim: Create a new thought and put it right there between your mind and your feelings of resentment.

Ok, I’m actually pretty excited about these strawberries. And the book I’ll read while I’m eating them.

Shift: Shift to gratitude. List 5 things that you’re grateful for right then and there. Getting in the habit of this changes it all.

          Sunshine. The sound of laughter. Family. The fresh breeze through the windows. Health.